he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
