Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
