There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
