she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
