So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
