party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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