Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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