He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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