i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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