ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I had to cum in my sink.
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