Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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