The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize