he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
