i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize