Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
