I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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