Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
