your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
