I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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