The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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