i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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