he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
