yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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