Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize