You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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