How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
