sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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