That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
