ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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