used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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