do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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