pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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