Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize