We won't sleep together?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
