bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She even gives head with a lisp.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
