I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just pee around me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize