You smell like stripper and shame
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
