So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
