he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
