You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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