Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
