I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
