he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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