How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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