New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize