Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
