Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
