I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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