I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We were destined to go to rehab together
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
