youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
