I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
