I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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