You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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