I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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