Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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