This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
