Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize