The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
