he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
