I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
