Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
