I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
