She even gives head with a lisp.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize