Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
