why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We need to get me chipped asap
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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